sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
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