White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
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he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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