I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
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He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
i now understand why vodka
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize