So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize