please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize