dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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