I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize