Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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