I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
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