dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Drunk is not a location!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize