Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize