Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
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