If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
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well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
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You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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