I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize