Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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