I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Randomize