life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize