I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
The beer is more important than you right now.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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