All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
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After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
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I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
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