omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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