oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
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