If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
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Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize