FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize