The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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