Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
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