he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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