I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize