Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
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