got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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