ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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