remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize