What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize