im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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