I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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