THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Randomize