Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
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