Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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