Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
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