What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
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