I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize