I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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