All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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