Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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