I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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