She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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