I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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