dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize