I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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