she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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