; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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